[ "HOMIES" = "HEIMKINDER" = "HOMEKIDS" : What the victims ( of every form ) of institutional child abuse may reasonably expect from those responsible for their suffering and the associated betrayal of trust, in order that healing may now commence and a semblance of trust may be restored: ]

[ Sexual abuse in the Churches ]

HERE I STAND: Church attorney offers lessons from lawsuit – 8/26/98

By MARY LOGAN

I have been living with the "Barry Bailey litigation“ in Texas since I started working for The United Methodist Church in January 1995 ( see related story [http://www.pastornet.net.au/jmm/articles/8157.htm and http://www.pmartinlaw.com/Churches%20Join%20Battle%20over%20Coverage%20for%20Sex%20Claims.htm] ) It was my first introduction to allegations of clergy misconduct of a sexual nature. It remains the most difficult misconduct case I have seen in these four years and one of the most painful experiences I have known as an attorney of 16 years.

As the litigation has been in progress of settlement this summer, I have spent many quiet moments reflecting on the experience and what I have learned.

It is in this quiet reflection that I share these lessons with the church.

It is important to say from the outset that my lessons are not statements about what should have been done, what was not done, or what was done incorrectly.

My comments are simply my own lessons that I hope all church organisations will be able to carry forward.

• Make churches a safe sanctuary. Women and children in particular – all people in general – need to know that they will be cared for and not further victimised if they bring a complaint alleging misconduct of a sexual nature. Churches must have policies and follow them.

• Put Christian love first. The first person to receive a complaint can be the most important in shaping how the complainant perceives the church.

• We all need to remember our best caring skills: listen, acknowledge the pain, affirm, show support, encourage further action, stay by the person’s side (or find someone who will) at all times, and show Christian love.

• Respond immediately: If you’re not sure how to respond, call someone with more expertise and ask for help. Don’t sit on it!

• Believe it: Even if you don’t feel the allegations could be true, take the allegations seriously.

• Don’t blame the victim: This is a huge danger zone and requires countless hours and months and perhaps years of regular intervention and communication. Churches in all denominations have a tendency to blame the victim, because it is too painful to acknowledge that an ordained person of God could possibly commit such acts. Beware of threats, retaliation, intimidation, gossip, malicious comments, and old-fashioned shunning.

• Help heal the congregation: Congregations need the same "tender loving care“ as the complainants and the alleged abuser. A congregational care team and intervention are essential! Congregations have also experienced betrayal. Grief, anger, conflict are often part of the experience. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

• Keep up with personal matters regularly: Church personnel committees need to review the pastor’s performance on a regular basis. Pastors need to be encouraged to take vacation or days off for self-care and personal spirituality [and reflection] and for training in clergy misconduct. Committees need to be actively involved in staff selection, including adequate screening and reference checking.

• Establish boundaries for pastoral counselling. Examples of policy issues to consider include: a limited number of sessions, limited length of sessions, telephone counselling as an alternative to face-to-face counselling, opposite sex counselling only when other staff are visible, etc.

• Take time for prevention. Prevention will save you thousands of hours (yes, thousands) of time; thousands (or millions) of dollars in legal fees; thousands (or millions) of dollars in damages to victims and their families; hundreds (or thousands) of persons who lose their faith.

• Remember, we are the church. Let’s remember to act in love even when the pain seems unbearable.

Mary Logan is chief counsel for the United Methodist General Council on Finance and Administration in Evanston, Illinios / USA.

© 1998 UMR Communications. All rights reserved. Duplication in whole or in part is prohibited without permission from UMR Communications, 2400 Lone Star Drive, Dallas, Texas 75212. 1-800-947-0207

[ Current compilation of the above article and its arrangement for present purposes: Martin Mitchell, Australia. ]

For a further explanation of the desirable attitude of churches and governments responsible for the abuse of children in institutions, see Institutional Child Abuse : Apologising for Serious Wrongdoing : Law Commission of Canada @ http://www.lcc.gc.ca/en/themes/mr/ica/2000/html/apology.asp and also Institutional Child Abuse – Restoring Dignity : Responding to Child Abuse in Canadian Institutions : Law Commission of Canada @ http://www.lcc.gc.ca/en/themes/mr/ica/2000/html/restore1.asp. (Unfortunately, no German translation of these two articles does exist as yet. And although the current compilator of this material here is fluent in both English and German he is unable to devote himself to an accurate translation of this material into German, because he is not a qualified interpreter.)

[ Date of first publication on this Website: 27 May 2004 ]